I do not have an everyone-everywhere-should-be-single attitude nor do I believe that everyone everywhere should get married. In my mind, if you’re single, ok, and if you’re married, ok.
You know how some married couples are happy and some aren’t happy? It’s that way for the singles, too. Not everyone who is single hates being single just like not everyone who is married hates being married. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that some of the singles who don’t like being single don’t actually hate it at all; they’ve let people make them think they should hate it.
You see, not every single girl is pining away to get married. If you ask me what I believe about being single right now I’d say that I believe I haven’t found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’ve been picky. And, newsflash, that’s ok. It helps, too, that I don’t feel pressured to get married. My parents, for example, are more concerned with me being happy than they are me getting married. I’m beyond thankful for this because I’ve seen what this kind of pressure can do to girls.
For the girls who want to get married but haven’t or the ones who feel pressured, they run the risk of getting desperate. Scary things happen at the point of desperation: you ignore red flags, you go along with things you aren’t actually ok with, you don’t voice your concerns, and you stop assessing whether you actually like the person all that much. Getting married is suddenly the only goal; a selfless, loving relationship is no longer important.
But let’s understand that not every girl’s happiness is dependent upon whether or not they get married. Thinking that girls aren’t happy until married implies that girls’ aspirations in life should be to get married. But why? Not only are we not living in the eighteenth century anymore when women needed to marry for protection and money, we’ve worked hard to get away from that type of mentality. Plus, marriage does not automatically equal happiness. Otherwise, way more people would be happy. Anyone can get married. Anyone. But just because you get married doesn’t mean you get happiness.
It’s not a question of if you can you get married. It’s a much bigger question of who you’ll choose to marry and what your life will look like thereafter.
So know that we aren’t all waiting around for a spouse to show up. Know that we aren’t all afraid of not finding someone either. Instead, know we’ve chosen not to settle. Know that perhaps though we’ve dated someone, we’ve seen a side of that person no one else has, so we chose to opt out. And know that maybe we aren’t waiting at all. Maybe we’re living our life and loving every minute of it, thankful we haven’t settled.
Just a thought – but what do I know.